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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?